Saturday 30 June 2012

The amazing Dartman returns...

Phew, what a night!! After two years of more or less constant waiting, the new Dartman & Cueball book has finally arrived and copies have been literally* flying off the shelves.

*not literally.

Just take a look at this queue outside Waterstone's in Piccadilly...


Apparently it stretched all the way to the Isle of Wight, with many queuers having to tread water for 13 hours just to prevent themselves from drowning.

"It was worth it," said this determined young fan (who also took the opportunity to buy a Harry Potter book). "I almost died five times in the queue, from dehydration, starvation, hypothermia, boredom and suffocation respectively, but I wasn't about to give up!"


I have since been told that this queue was the first in human history to be visible from space. Holy mackerel!









This man, at least, had the good sense to arrive early...




He'd been camping outside his local Waterstone's for the last six months.

"Most people just assumed I was a tramp," he smiled, clutching his new copy of Dartman & Cueball (which he'd sensibly hidden behind a Harry Potter book), "but I knew what I was doing."













You would think all this waiting around in the blazing sun and/or freezing cold and/or pissing rain with nothing to eat and nothing to drink might make people miserable but Dartman & Cueball launches are nothing if not fun and, as ever, some of you crazy cunts decided to dress up for the occasion.

Here are one or two of my favourites:

Excellent Commissioner Wilson costume. Ardent fans will, no doubt, approve of the addition of the small child. This being a knowing nod to the Commissioner's less than wholesome reputation around kids. That's what you call attention to detail.




This young chap decided to come as Chief of Police, Frankie Corleone. Pretty good effort. Not sure about the pink hat, and what's happened to Frankie's pipe?! But, on the whole, not bad. Not bad at all.



From left to right: Commissioner Wilson, Charlie Stanley and Dartman. Superb!
Ok, hope I've got this right! From left to right: Frankie Corleone, Officer Maybe, Cueball, Commissioner Wilson, Dartman and King Alan. I love the way you've captured Dartman's never-say-die attitude; and check out that brooding Commissioner Wilson in the background! Magnificent!


Do you know that if you took every copy of The Pointless Adventures of Dartman & Cueball - Forbidden Loot sold last night and piled them up, one on top of the other, they would reach the outer rings of Saturn! And yet, incredibly, there are still copies available:

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

All you have to do is click on that little link and someone will actually deliver a copy right to your door - no queues, no camping and no cunts in stupid costumes. What an age we live in!

And if you haven't read the first one yet (and, believe me, there's always one), all you need to do is click on this link:

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

And a similar thing will happen, only with the first book (The Pointless Adventures of Dartman & Cueball - Furiouser and Furiouser) turning up instead of the new one.

Brilliant, eh?

Oh, by the way, the final part of the Dartman & Cueball saga will be released in Summer 2014. Let the waiting begin...

No comments:

Post a Comment