This is why we need time machines...

Not a lot of people know this but in 1967 The Beatles (at the behest of John Lennon) were on the verge of buying the film rights to The Lord Of The Rings. The Beatles were to produce it, star in it and write the music while Stanley Kubrick had been lined up to direct!
This discovery sent my imagination into overdrive and I immediately got to thinking about casting. Now, Nasty John himself had already bagsied the role of Gollum but who best to take the other parts?

After much deliberation and soul-searching, I believe I now have the definitive cast list (all we need to do now is travel back in time and make it happen):

Frodo: Syd Barrett
Sam: Ringo Starr
Merry & Pippin: Steve Marriott & Ronnie Lane
Frederic 'Fatty' Bolger: Keith Moon
Bilbo: Brian Wilson
Gandalf: Bob Dylan
Radagast: George Harrison
Tom Bombadil: Van Morrison
Boromir: Robert Plant
Faramir: Roger Daltrey
Farmer Maggot: Leonard Cohen
Legolas: David Bowie
Gimli: David Crosby
Aragorn: There isn't one. (That, ultimately, is the reason the hippy dream failed - too many wizards, elves and fairies and not enough leaders. If they'd had even one Aragorn to hold it all together they'd have been laughing) In the absence of a suitable Aragorn from the rock world, Clint Eastwood will have to do it.
Elrond: Neil Young
Galadriel: Joni Mitchell
Celeborn: James Taylor
Arwen: Kate Bush
Saruman: Jimi Hendrix
Grima Wormtongue: Paul McCartney
Eomer: Dave Gilmour
Eowyn: Sandy Denny
King Theoden: Allen Ginsberg
Treebeard: Willie Nelson
Lord Denethor: Roger Waters
Shagrat (orc): Keith Richards
Ringwraiths: Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne, Frank Zappa, Dave Hill & Kiss
Hobbit extras: Donovan, Ray & Dave Davies, Cat Stevens and Pete Townshend


Bilbo Baggins
Wilson's growing insanity gave him the edge in the competition to play Bilbo.






Shagrat
Amazingly, Richards needed no make-up or CGI to become the orc, Shagrat.









Legolas
Many felt Bowie was 'too much of a cunt' to play Legolas.










Frodo Baggins
Barrett, like Frodo, got weirder and weirder as the story progressed.










Faramir
Daltrey was convinced that Plant ripped off his look.











Boromir
Plant was convinced that Daltrey ripped off his look.











Wormtongue
For someone who always fancied himself as a hero, playing Wormtongue came as something of a shock to Macca.






Gandalf
Dylan's legendary hat-wearing ability marked him out as a natural choice for the wizard, Gandalf.










Arwen
Bush brought a refreshing touch of madness to the character, Arwen.











Saruman
Hendrix impressed at his audition by conjuring fire from the ground.











Treebeard
Nelson got the part of the ent, Treebeard, by virtue of the fact that he looked most like a tree.










Farmer Maggot
Even though he was playing a hobbit farmer from The Shire, Cohen still insisted on wearing a suit and tie at all times.











Merry & Pippin
Marriott and Lane could never remember which one was supposed to be Merry and which one was supposed to be Pippin.


















One or two songs written especially for the picture:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6LZnz0ElLc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMNrVEi54yA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91yaXXmN5kI